The Fence Line


Well I got in trouble again. See, She was toiling away in my Adventure Playground fertilising the flower beds in anticipation of some rare impending rain, and I of course, was patrolling the borders. Its what I do best, you know, and it reaps rewards.

Now let me fill you in on a little history. Eric and Elsie live on one fence line and Ruckus lives on the other. As you know, Eric and Elsie are my best mates and I play with them often, either at my place or their's.

Ruckus on the other hand, would have me for breakfast given half the chance, but I can bark louder and for longer. Luckily, there's a fence between us. I can tell when he's out, a good border patroller knows these things. As soon as I know he's there, I go off my rocker barking, giving my own meaning to the word ruckus. Over the years, She has trained me to Be Quiet, but I have to get the command, and the last bark in, before I'll Be Quiet.

When I am allowed out in my Adventure Playground, I like to spy on him through my "Wilson" Hole. I have quite a good view of his yard (see left). He doesn't pay me any attention, but I like to let him know I'm there. That usually gets me sent back inside, but it's worth it!

See, I have no doubt that I upset Ruckus' Pack with my protracted barking, and for that I am somewhat ashamed. But not enough to quit barking altogether when he's in the yard! At some point, Ruckus' pack cottoned on the fact that I'll do pretty much anything for food. So if I wouldn't shut up, they were going to do it for me! They bribe me shamelessly with biscuits, and who I am to turn down a biscuit opportunity.

And so back to the present. There She was working hard, and I was on patrol. I saw Ruckus, and started barking. Of course, I wasn't going to pay any attention to Her instructions to keep quiet. I barked until Ruckus' Pack Leader gave me my biscuit. That was not a good move. She got to me and the biscuit before I could finish it. See, I get Ruckus sized biscuits and it takes me a while to finish them off. I think that's part of their plan, because it keeps me quiet for longer of course.

Anyway, She took the remains of the biscuit away for later distribution in portions. She made me write a sorry for barking and thank you letter to Ruckus for sharing his biscuits. What She didn't know is I put some of my own smaller biscuits in a bag with my letter through the "Wilson" hole for Ruckus' Pack Leader to give me. See, She threatened not to give me dinner if She caught me with a Ruckus sized biscuit again, and I have to say, the thought just leaves me cold!


Weekend Away

Well, I was Not a happy traveler and She was beside herself with consternation. See it all started when He got given a gift voucher to go to Cooking School for His birthday. Problem was, it was up the road on the Coast and it involved a night away from home. So at first it seemed like a good idea because Eric and Elsie, my best mates from next door, were going to be on vacation up there in a rented beach house, and His weekend Cooking Class was right in the middle of their stay.

So they invited me to come play and go for a walk on the beach and all that before His cooking class, and it all worked out splendidly. The drive up was very exciting and We had regular Pee stops and I got treats for being good. I knew it was going to be something special because it was chicken treats. Which was fine for me because I had been so excited about going somewhere, I didn't even eat my breakfast!

Finally We got there and a very excited greeting and some play ensued. I bet Eric and Elsie didn't know I was coming That Day, because it wasn't a Wednesday. Their pack leader gave us morning tea and we all went for a walk on the beach, which I might add, was the same beach I holidayed at last year, and I was really pleased to be back.

She has spent a lot of time implementing Meg's training and so I was allowed off on my own, which was really cool. Except They don't trust me enough to actually take the lead off, just to let it go.... so I do have to run around dragging it behind me in case a foot needs to be stomped on it if I was to be unduly distracted.

Anyway, after the long and happy beach stroll, They packed me all up again and we went down the road to the Cooking School. Well, even though it had claimed to be OK for a "wee pooch", it was anything But. First, there was no fence or gate to stop me wandering into the main road right outside; then, there was no fence to stop me wandering onto the neighbor's property and off into the distance; also, 2 other dogs already lived there and so I couldn't really get comfortable; and the final straw was that because I wasn't allowed in the actual house which had the cooking school and the upmarket suites, We were placed in the ostensibly quaint railway carriage a few metres from the house in the baking sun! Well, to cut a very long story short, I did not stop whining.

To her credit, She did Her best to comfort me and had brought all my most favorite things from home and laid them all out - my crate, my Purple Heart Blankie, our New tug toy (see left - I have to hold on to it to stop Her getting it), my rawhide bone, my water bowl and all my meals, just like they get made at home. But there was no comfort there....

In desperation, and by this time She was somewhat dismayed and upset and getting cranky, She let me curl up next to Her on the bed and sleep there for the night. He enjoyed His cooking class though, so overall, there was 1 out of 3 happy campers. It was horrible, but on the way back We stopped in again at Eric and Elsie and all was good in the world again. Especially when I got home and collapsed in an exhausted heap. I've been good since though; I was sorry to be such a nuisance, but I just don't like my routine being interfered with, especially if the new one means I'm not The Center of the New Universe.