September Adventure

Well, I missed September altogether! But not because I was lazing away the hours, I was Very Busy doing dog stuff!

First stop was Teagin who returned from holiday to wave her magic wand and re-discover me under all my winter layers. I had to suffer the bow indignity again, hoo boy!




I didn't make her task easy, getting in some good days of hunting with the extremely warm weather which inconveniently came before my haircut. In the course of the chase of a particularly slippery lizard, I took to the destroying the plants.


But I did enjoy myself immensely!







It was hot, and I tried hard to stay comfortable before my haircut.







Second stop was a Simply Social Walk with all my Westie Walker friends at New Farm Park. There was a great turnout with everyone looking very glamorous and shiny, clearly having been put through the same re-discovering ordeal as me.... successfully!



Third stop was a much awaited vacation. It sounds idyllic, you know, eating, sleeping, hunting, sleeping, walking, eating, sleeping interspersed with barking, treats, cuddles, playtime, staring vacantly into space, watching TV and so on, but the routine can wear me out. So She arranged a vacation for me at Aunty Kim, Uncle Paul, Tiff and Marlee, where I do all the same stuff except in a different location and importantly, there are a lot less rules!!! So I sleep, but on the bed; and I eat, but I get Schmacko's treats; and I play, but with Tiff and Marlee; and I bark, but I carry on until I get my way and so everything's the same, but better! Thanks, Tiff and Marlee, for letting me be Top Dog at your house too!

Fourth stop was a return home, much inspired to put paw to keyboard. But despite the fact that Aunty Kim washed out my color rinse from the dust storm, when I got home there was another one. She is beside herself, frantically cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and contemplating moving because She thinks She'll never get the house clean again.

And then there's me... every time I venture outside to hunt in the dust, I come back a darker shade of orange. I've been checking out my handiwork from before the vacation too. Eventually She tossed me in the tub and gave me a very thorough scrub! Actually, I feel a lot better for it.

Bring on the summer of lizards! I have been practicing on the flies...

Shaggie Maggie (aka Woolly Wonder)

Hoo Boy Folks,

It's not even 1 September and its way over 30 degrees C (that's 86 F for my overseas fan base)... in fact last week it was 38 degrees (or 100 F)!

Yeah, no kidding and to make matters worse, He forgot to schedule an appointment for me at the cleaners last time I was there, which was so long ago, I forgot I had to suffer the ignominy of the whole process (which includes a mortifying bow and obligatory photo op). Anyway, He called up about 4 weeks ago, because it was already getting hot even then, and Teagin of Four Paw was too busy and then she was going on holiday. So because I can't be trusted to any other groomer on the planet, I have had to wait until Teagin gets back, which is thankfully next week. I've been sweeping the floor ahead of me with my tongue it's been hanging out so far in the heat, and quite frankly, I've had enough of the grit!

Anyway, They've tried frightfully hard to alleviate my suffering, and a couple of weeks ago They came up with a Road Trip! They feel bad that Elsie, Eric and Max have a weekender at the beach and I don't, so They finally arranged with Aunty Amanda and Uncle Brian that I could go too. So on Friday evening, even though I had no idea anything was happening because I had my Pooscapade and dinner as usual, suddenly there was this flurry of activity. She packed my blue and yellow back pack with my bowl and my food and I knew this was gonna be good... Then, when everything was in place, I got bundled into the car and off we went. It's generally a lovely soothing drive (until the inevitable roadworks soon followed by the directions argument) all the way up there, and it wasn't too late when we got there. Boy was I excited when I saw My Best Friends; we had a good old chat about what was going down and settled down for scraps from the beautiful meal Aunty Amanda made for Them.

I got to sleep on the bed with Them ( Forbidden Behaviour at home - in fact, I don't even know if They have a bed, because I'm not allowed where ever it is They go after lights out). She didn't have a good night sleep what with me and Him occupying most of the bed; and I guess I do feel lucky I don't have to sleep with His snoring all the time!

The next morning we all went for a long walk on the beach. She had made chicken treats for me, so I was allowed to run and walk off lead, because well, I have to confess it's not worth running away if there's chicken on offer... and She knows it!



I went exploring








I tried to get the fisherman to show me how to do it, or in the alternative, give me some of what he got (no bites there...)







I took a moment to enjoy the moment








I took a rest (note aforementioned tongue!)








After the walk, They took me with to breakfast at the local cafe, and then I followed Max and Elsie's example because a place can be very comfy place when you're allowed on the furniture!





I lazed around reading the latest journals and watching Tiger play golf







and sunbaking








Eric was too busy requesting food as a reward for a good sit. He's looking hot after all his beach walks, but it sure makes him even more determined to find (or make) that elusive food opportunity.




Later as promised, They took me along to look at some real estate to see if there was a place I liked that They could get for me to have more frequent weekends at the beach.

I don't remember much of the drive home though, because it was late in the afternoon and I was all tuckered out. It's hard to be a ball of energy where you're hot and shaggy! Lately, my most important task of the day is to find the breeziest spot and play possum! Roll on Saturday, I don't even care about the bow any more...

It is possible to have too much fun!

I've finally emerged from my state of overwhelming exhaustion following my long anticipated visit to Aunty Kim, Uncle Paul, Tiffany and Marlee-Jane. A few weekends ago we stopped by their house, but noone was home. Much to my embarrasment, She let Aunty Kim know how disappointed I had been, and practically invited ourselves over. But Aunty Kim is very kind and she arranged for us to visit this weekend gone by. Now I didn't know that, so you can imagine my delight when I got ushered into the car bearing gifts. I personally picked out the one for Tiff and Marlee, but that doesn't mean I didn't have an interest in it myself, being edible and all...

Anyway, the miles whizzed by and it was soon exit 20. I know where that is (I'm good with directions), and I am sure to let Him know, because He always says He knows where He's going, but actually has No Idea. Then She gets annoyed because we go round in circles or miss the turn or Whatever, and then there's some raised voices and then ultimately silence and I don't get to go where we were going.

So when We pulled up everyone was waiting for me. But I was so excited I bowled them all over and raced around leaving pee - mail in my favorite haunts and reacquainting myself with all my favorite spots in and out the house. I barked and barked and generally just ran around like a mad thing until I had to make my I'm-so-excited-I-have-to-poop poo. It was with some consternation that I noticed the poo patch out front is now pebbled, but I chose a discrete, distant corner and She dutifully made sure my present wasn't left behind for some unsuspecting passer by.

Since I was there on vacation, there have been some other changes. The budgie barks regularly and if I didn't know better would be completely fooled into thinking there was another pooch on the premises. Uncle Paul turned his deft DIY hand to some bifold doors which when folded back I learnt the hard way by knockin' my noggin on the glass, make the garden seem twice as big ... Uncle Paul also got a flash red Mustang for his birthday, but try as I might, I wasn't allowed to go in and check it out.

Also, much to my surprise and delight was Aunty Kim's neighbour Maggie was there. Maggie is just like me, bright, beautiful and full of fun! She babysat me, Tiff and Marlee the first night of my vacation at Aunty Kim's and Uncle Paul's, but she pointed out that I never so much as gave her a mention! Even with my extensive imagination, I can't come up with an excuse, so I'm sorry Aunty Maggie, and I do love being around you!

So after watching dance video (actually me, Tiff and Marlee were just tussling it out for the best spot on the bed to watch said dance video), scoring scraps from the beautiful lunch, and performing my repertoire of tricks designed to impress, all too soon it was time to go home. It's fair to say I collapsed in a heap that evening



There were absolutely no signs of life the following day...








Late in the piece I moved a shade when the word "Dinner" was yelled out







But immediately after that, once again I couldn't keep my eyes open... So its absolutely true, I can have too much fun! And losing a day is a small price to pay.

Masterpooch

Good grief! It's been a while since my last blog. The main reason is that life in my household was put on hold for Masterchef. Now as you can imagine, because there were 72 episodes, that was a significant period of time. And I am not accustomed to being ignored for that long. So long in fact, that even a turn on the Leather Chair went unnoticed...

Well, that's not entirely true. You see, Masterchef initiated a domino effect on the usual military organisation of my household. The first domino to fall was that He, as self appointed household Masterchef, is responsible for dinner. As long as Masterchef The Show was on, dinner could not be made or served at such a time that would interfere with the scheduled (nightly...) screening.

So the next domino to fall was Her, being the epicenter of household military precision organisation and pinnacle of aversion to anything that disrupts the routine as declared by Herself. The reason was that nothing was happening when and as it should because of Masterchef.

That of course was gravely compounded by the fact that He, immersed in all things related to food and cooking, became totally unaware of Her existence and didn't really pay attention at essential times, like when She's talking, which could now only be while He was hurriedly preparing dinner before Masterchef . In itself, not listening to Her talk is not really a new phenomenon, but that's a whole other story...

In any event, The Disruption of Routine was of a magnitude so grave, the next domino to fall was my regular Pooter access and I just could not get a blog in. That's because normally my best chance to get uninterrupted Pooter time is while They're having dinner. I have until the tinkle of cutlery subsides and the dishwasher door opens to think and doodle and edit and come up with my posts, because after that if I lie on my mat promptly I get treats.

What really annoys me is that I am already an online Celebrity Chef, having published episodes of Maggie's Kitchen long before all this Masterchef nonsense began. Here's one of my specialties - Moroccan Chicken Wings: chickpeas and avocado mushed up with my veggies and a chicken wing. Note how well it's been plated up too... very appealing!

In fact, I've decided I might make a new a new series called Masterpooch, featuring my healthy-baking expertise, which I indulge in from time to time to make treats.

That includes things like "Little Eataly Meatballs" (seen here in the making), "Pupeye's Grrreek Spanielkopita" and "Mad Dogs and Englishman" scones courtesy of the 3 Dog Bakery Book. They taste a whole lot better than stuff out of packets! And I think I should get my very own Pooter.

Big Night Out

Last week as anticipated I got hauled off to the cleaners. I got a green eco-friendly bow, so I don't mind too much that She made me share the photo op with you. It didn't last much longer than that though... straight into the bow bag. She insists on collecting them - She's like Imelda Marcos and her 1060 shoes. Although I guess if She opened a Maggie's Memorablia Museum, I could use the money raised for Philanthropoochic endeavors.... But the prospect of 1060 visits to the cleaners? Don't know about that!

On Saturday night I went out for dinner! I was invited to Bonnie and Kenzie's house. Of course, They had to come too, because well, as accomplished as I am, I can't drive and it was too dark and drizzly and far away to make my way over there on all fours. But They were pretty well behaved overall, and only interfered when I tried to eat Bonnie and Kenzie's food or bones. We chased possums and did some investigating and playing and behaving for treats. I'm not accustomed to staying up late though, and I got a little cantankerous. That's when She decided it was definitely time to go...

Needless to say, I was exhausted and when it dawned grey and wet on Sunday morning, getting out of bed was decidely difficult. I dutifully performed my ablutions, but I gave border patrol a miss. Sunday breakfast is always good and I scoffed that down no problem. But the effort, on top of last night, was too much for me and I mooched around in a bit of an exercise haze. It's a zen like state of bewilderment that follows an extended period of concentrated activity. I collapsed in the inelegant heap shown here, where even rolling over was mission impossible. It lasted the whole of Sunday... although I did perk up enough to squeeze in a walk between showers and made sure I got my dinner! Luckily it was the shortest day of the year, so that happened sooner rather than later and I could settle down on my purple heart blankie and snore my way through the news.

Liquorice Outta Sorts

Hey Everyone
My best friend Eric caused a bit of kerfuffle last week when Uncle Brian, about to embark on an Important Mission by aeroplane, left his suitcase zippered and waiting while he and Aunty Amanda went for breakfast. Eric had dutifully (and strategically) helped with the packing, so he knew that Uncle Brian hid his favorite liquorice snacks under the socks under the pants under the shirts so Aunty Amanda wouldn't know.

So while Uncle Brian and Aunty Amanda were tucking into scrambled eggs on toast at the local cafe, Eric unzippered the bag, scrambled the clothes, and made light work of the whole packet of liquorice - wrappers and all! Needless to say, he was toast - the consequences he suffered were far worse than any trouble he might have gotten into from Aunty Amanda if he hadn't gotten so unwell. Instead, she had to race him to the vet at 1 am and he stayed there for 2 days getting patched back together.

Poor Aunty Amanda was beside herself; it not being the first time Eric has eaten something he shouldn't have. When he comes here to play, Eric stakes a vigil at the door of the pantry because that's where the bin is kept. She knows to keep it closed, because there isn't anything Eric isn't capable of getting to or eating...

I have tried to teach Eric to hunt lizards when I'm over there, but what with him being the Master of Fast Food and Available Appetisers, I guess I have my work cut out for me. I still have a lot to get right myself with the lizards, but I practice a lot. Hunting lizards requires vigilance, patience, knowledge of the prey, fearlessness, subtlety, quickness of foot, agility, and help from Her when I need it. These are not things that come in packets...off a shelf...

Anyway, Eric got whisked off to the groomers to get his hair evened out. The vet had shaved him in all the wrong places to put in drips and take samples and stuff. He looks like a GI now, but before I could ogle at him, he was taken to his beach side retreat for some R+R. He sent me this picture.




Aunty Amanda bought him this jacket, to keep him warm, but he steadfastly refused to wear it, and so, Aunty Amanda who has tried to give me clothes before, generating the same response, decided I could have it. But this time, I WILL wear it! In fact, I'm dreaming of running around in a paddock catching the sheep that donated their coats for me to be so cosy.

And what with the lovely toasty bed Max rejected and Aunty Amanda also gave to me, I'm going to be the toastiest dog in town. It is finally winter here, and for the couple of weeks that it lasts, I'm loving this coat, and my bed! Especially since I suspect it's soon to be my turn to spend the morning at the cleaners for my winter styling!

Maggie the X-terminator

My duties around the house have X-panded!

The other day I X-pressed a profound interest in the corner of my Poo Patch and X-citedly danced around sniffing and yapping and X-tolling the virtues of my X-tremely loud bark, knowing as I do, that the louder it gets, the more likely They are to come and investigate what's got me going. So that's X-catly what happened! It took a few days, but at least Their suspicions were sufficiently aroused to come running every time I started the X-pression Session at the Poo Patch Corner.

Around the same time, there were a couple of Visiting Possums keeping me up at night, and because of the nature of things, if I'm up and yapping then They are up and concerned about me, and so the Vicious Cycle of sleepless nights for all of us begins... Anyway, She decided that the Visiting Possums wouldn't visit if the Lady Next Door kept her garden in check and cut back the vegetation at least once a year. Ho Hum. Given the drought has ended (and then some...), the weather's still warm, the LDN's passion fruit is outta control.

So She figures, if the passion fruit weren't there, the Visiting Possums would Vanish and She would get some sleep... She diligently picked up those that had fallen on our side of the fence, but got distracted and left them on my Poo Patch, meaning to toss 'em out with my next poo. Problem is, She forgot, and the next morning, the middle of one of the fruit was eaten out. So She knew something was out there, and thought it was the Visiting Possums who had taken up residence in the hidden corner of my Poo Patch that I was constantly investigating.

So the next evening, I was X-acting every last breath from my lungs in the corner of my Poo Patch and He stuck his head out and caught sight of a tail disappearing under the house! Bingo - unwelcome visitor sighted.

So the next evening, we went to the Possum Man's House down the road and we got some cages. The Possum Man is very scary, but I was very X-cited about the prospect of my mission being accomplished. And so it was... The next morning there was a little mouse wishing it hadn't taken advantage of the apple He left inside the cage under the house!


I supervised while He got the cage, making sure everyone in the neighborhood knew of our success. I was strapped into the lead on His one hand, while the little mouse was locked in the cage in His other hand and we ran all the way down to the creek. I barked and barked the whole way so people would know we were coming and move out the way promptly. He tried to shut me up by running faster (it's quite hard work to run and bark at the same time, I have to say, but boy, I had a good go at it...)

I made up a little rhyme for this bit -

When we got to the creek
We let the 'rat out of the bag' so to speak
I hoped he could swim
Otherwise he'd get very thin
But I did what I was bred to do
ID the bad guy and give Them the clue!

I kept watch of the cages just in case something else reappeared. It took a lot of concentration. The next night, we took the cages back to the Possum Man. He was still scary. Anyway, I thought I would get a medal or something for being such an intrepid hunter, but I just got lots of pats and proud looks. Maybe someone will nominate me for a Purple Heart... (other than the one's on my blankie)